“Isn’t everything you have and everything you are sheer gifts from God? So what’s the point of all this comparing and competing? You already have all you need.”
(1 Corinthians 4:7-8 The Message) Instead of focusing so much on what we don’t have and what didn’t happen, we can be grateful for what we do have. This doesn’t come naturally to us, and not even for the apostle Paul, who said, “I have learned to be content.” Being content is a learning process. The Bible says in 1 Corinthians 4:7-8, “Isn’t everything you have and everything you are sheer gifts from God? So what’s the point of all this comparing and competing? You already have all you need” (The Message). Envy is based on the myth that you need more to be happy. Envy always looks at others and asks, “Why them? Why did they deserve it? I deserve what they have.” But gratitude says, “Why me? Why did God give me this? I’m blessed because I don’t deserve what I have.” It totally flips our perspective. Although we all struggle with envy, it’s hard to admit it because it’s such an ugly emotion. When you’re envious of others, you really want them to fail, because it makes you feel better that they don’t have more than you. That’s pretty crazy, isn’t it? If we could only learn to be grateful for what we have, we could begin to get rid of these feelings of envy. It’s important to understand that envy is not having a desire or a dream or a goal. It’s good to have those. Envy is not looking forward to something or hoping that something can happen in your life or even wondering if you should have some thing. Envy is instead resenting somebody who already has what you desire or has reached a goal you have yet to obtain. Envy says you can’t be happy until you get that desire or goal. Envy is not being grateful for what you already have. Yet the Bible tells us that we already have more than we need and far more than we deserve. Every good thing in our lives is a gift from God, and it is up to him to decide when and how he blesses us. It’s up to us to choose to be grateful and make the most of what we’ve been given. As Ecclesiastes 6:9 says, “It is better to be satisfied with what you have than to be always wanting something else” (GNT).
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“Anyone who withholds kindness from a friend forsakes the fear of the Almighty” (Job 6:14 NIV).
If you have a spouse or a friend or a loved one who’s walked away from God, you cannot walk away from them. God wants you to know that they need you now more than ever! The Bible says, “Anyone who withholds kindness from a friend forsakes the fear of the Almighty” (Job 6:14 NIV). When your loved one is in such a place that they say, “I am in so much pain, I don’t even know if I believe in God right now,” you can say to them, “That’s okay. I’ll believe God for you. I’ll stand by you and carry you through this until God restores what has been lost.” Lasting love refuses to give up on someone. You can know this because Jesus modeled this kind of love for you. When you were dead in sin, he didn’t walk away. He didn’t just wait it out. He didn’t hold it against you. He didn’t even expect you to pay for what you’d done. Instead, Jesus believed in you. He saw what you could become with his righteousness. He loved you so perfectly and so unconditionally that he was willing to receive the punishment for your sin. He took on your pain and promised to walk through life with you and give you the hope of heaven. Who in your life needs you to show them a glimpse of God’s love by extending grace, expressing faith, and enduring the worst with them? “We must always aim at those things that bring peace and that help strengthen one another” (Romans 14:19 GNT).
Love is built on trust. When you really love people, you believe in them. You trust them. You build their confidence. You relieve their fears. And then your trust causes them to blossom. If you can’t learn to trust people, you’ll never learn to love or learn to be loved. A lot of people who think they have a love problem really have a trust problem, because love and trust go together. When Jesus went to his hometown of Nazareth, the people who heard him teach did not believe him and were even offended by him. As a result, Jesus “could not do any miracles there, except lay his hands on a few sick people and heal them. He was amazed at their lack of faith” (Mark 6:5-6 NIV). It wasn’t Jesus’ lack of faith that prevented the miracles. He could not do a good work in his hometown because of the people’s lack of faith and trust in him. If that’s true of Jesus, then it’s definitely true of you. When people don’t trust you, you are not empowered to reach your potential. And when you don’t trust other people, you limit them. If people don’t believe in you, trust you, or show confidence in you, then it holds you back. But when the people who love you show faith in you, it brings out the best in you. It gives you faith in yourself. It helps you fulfill your purpose. Do you want a love that lasts forever? Then show someone that they have your trust. When you do, you’ll build their confidence, and you’ll be amazed at what they will set out to do with God’s help and your faith. “We must always aim at those things that bring peace and that help strengthen one another” (Romans 14:19 GNT). “Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others” (Colossians 3:13 NLT).
The longer you know someone, the easier it is to become critical. As time goes on, you’re more likely to become less gracious and to take others for granted. Showing grace is an ongoing practice. It’s easy to show grace once. But over time, those little annoyances seem to add up, your patience starts to wane, and it’s easier to respond to hurt with hurt. To experience a love that lasts, choose to be merciful. No relationship—marriage or otherwise—is going to last without forgiveness, acceptance, patience, and a lot of grace. You get a hundred opportunities each day to extend grace to the people you love. Here are two specific times when it may be a particular challenge, but you’ll need to do it anyway: When their flaws and faults irritate you. The longer you love somebody, the more you know their flaws. You can choose to either be critical or gracious. You can be picky, or you can be kind. You can be a perfectionist, or you can show mercy. Proverbs 17:9 says, “Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends” (NLT). When their words or actions hurt you. You can’t hold on to anger over a hurt. You can’t stockpile every hurt for ammunition. The Bible says in Colossians 3:13, “Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others” (NLT). You can choose to hold on to a hurt, or you can choose forgiveness. Only one option is healthy, and only one will give you freedom to move forward in love. Showing grace goes against our nature to fight back, harbor a hurt, and have the last word. But we don’t have to rely on our own strength. Trust that as a follower of Jesus, you have the Holy Spirit working in you to help you choose the things God loves: mercy, compassion, and grace. |
AuthorTaken from Daily Hope by Rick Warren. Categories
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