“Be humble and give more honor to others than to yourselves” (Philippians 2:3 NCV).
Pride destroys relationships. It shows up in a lot of different ways, like criticism, competition, stubbornness, and superficiality. The problem with pride is it’s self-deceiving. Everybody else can see it in us but us. When you have a problem with pride, you don’t see it in your life. Proverbs 16:18 says, “Pride leads to destruction; a proud attitude brings ruin” (NCV). I love this verse in the Message paraphrase: “First pride, then the crash—the bigger the ego, the harder the fall.” Pride destroys relationships, but humility is the antidote to pride. Humility builds relationships. The Bible says in 1 Peter 3:8, “Everyone must live in harmony, be sympathetic, love each other, have compassion, and be humble” (GW). How are you and I going to grow in humility? It happens by letting Jesus Christ begin to control our thoughts and hearts and attitudes and reactions. He’s got to be a part of this. Ephesians 4:23-24 says, “Let the Spirit change your way of thinking and make you into a new person” (CEV). How do you become a new person? How do you start to think in a different way? The basic law of relationships is this: You tend to become like the people you spend time with. If you spend time with grumpy people, you get grumpier. If you spend time with happy people, you get happier. If you want to have more humility, spend time with Jesus Christ. He is humble. He wants a relationship with you. He wants you to spend time with him in prayer and reading his Word and talking to him. He is humble, and as you get to know him, you’ll become more like him. “Be humble and give more honor to others than to yourselves . . . You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had. Though he was God, he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to” (Philippians 2:3, 5-6 NCV/NLT). No one has done anything more humble than Jesus, coming from heaven to Earth to become a man, live for us, give his life for us, and be resurrected for us. When you spend time with him, it makes you more humble, and that builds your relationships.
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“But if we live in the light, as God is in the light, we can share fellowship with each other. Then the blood of Jesus, God's Son, cleanses us from every sin. If we say we have no sin, we are fooling ourselves, and the truth is not in us” (1 John 1:7-8 NCV).
In Christian fellowship, people should experience authenticity. Authentic fellowship is not superficial, surface-level chit-chat. It’s genuine, heart-to-heart, sometimes gut-level sharing. It happens when people get honest about who they are and what is happening in their lives. They share their hurts, reveal their feelings, confess their failures, disclose their doubts, admit their fears, acknowledge their weaknesses, and ask for help and prayer. Authenticity is the exact opposite of what you find in many churches. Instead of an atmosphere of honesty and humility, there is pretending, role-playing, politicking and superficial politeness, and shallow conversation. People wear masks, keep their guards up, and act as if everything is rosy in their lives. These attitudes are the death of real friendship. It’s only as we become open about our lives that we experience authentic fellowship. The Bible says, “If we live in the light, as God is in the light, we can share fellowship with each other . . . If we say we have no sin, we are fooling ourselves” (1 John 1:7-8 NCV). The world thinks intimacy occurs in the dark, but God says it happens in the light. We tend to use darkness to hide our hurts, faults, fears, failures and flaws. But in the light, we bring them all out into the open and admit who we really are. Of course, being authentic requires both courage and humility. It means facing our fear of exposure, rejection, and being hurt again. Why would anyone take such a risk? Because it’s the only way to grow spiritually and be emotionally healthy. The Bible says, “Make this your common practice: Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you can live together whole and healed” (James 5:16 The Message) “But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins” (Matthew 6:15 NIV).
Forgiveness isn’t easy. It can be one of the hardest decisions you’ll ever make. But you’ll never have the life God wants for you unless you can forgive the people who have hurt you. Here are three reasons why it’s essential to forgive others: We forgive because God has forgiven us. When you come to Christ, your sins aren’t just forgiven. They’re wiped out! God has no record of your sins anymore. The Bible says, “There is now no condemnation awaiting those who belong to Christ Jesus. For the power of the life-giving Spirit—and this power is mine through Christ Jesus—has freed me from the vicious circle of sin and death” (Romans 8:1-2 TLB). Each person faces a vicious circle, where you want to change, but you make a mistake and feel bad about it. Then you try again, fail, and feel bad about it again. It’s a cycle that you likely won’t break until you learn to offer forgiveness to people who have hurt you because you have been offered forgiveness yourself through Christ. We forgive because resentment will make us miserable. Holding on to a hurt is like drinking poison and hoping it kills the person you hate. It always hurts you more than it hurts the other person. There are people who continue to be hurt by individuals they haven’t seen in decades. That’s just foolish. Those people can’t hurt you anymore without your permission. You can choose to be happy, or you can hang on to hurt. You can’t do both. We forgive because we’ll need more forgiveness in the future. You’re not done making mistakes. None of us are. We'll be making a few more mistakes over the rest of our lives. And, of course, we'll need someone to forgive us when we do! Someone once came to 18th-century British theologian John Wesley and told him about a person he couldn’t forgive. Wesley told the man, “Then I hope you never sin.” We can’t receive what we’re unwilling to give others. Jesus says it like this: “But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins” (Matthew 6:15 NIV). Forgiving people who have hurt you isn’t just the right thing to do. It’s the smart thing to do. “I have gained perfect freedom by following your teachings” (Psalm 119:45 CEV).
We know lots of people who like to pretend. We're not talking about children who play make-believe. We're talking about adults who try to pretend they’re somebody else to get the approval of others. Maybe that’s you. Maybe you’ve been pretending for so long that you don’t know who the real you is anymore. You’re wearing a mask, and it’s wearing you out. Everyone else thinks you’ve got plenty of money, plenty of joy, and plenty of time. But you know the truth, and you’re exhausted. Social media exaggerates the problem. It’s the biggest tool today that locks us into a pretend world. If you post a picture of a great sunrise today, you need to post a better picture tomorrow. You don’t post a photo of yourself five minutes after you wake up. Yet that’s the real you—dark circles under your eyes, bedhead, and all. Instead, you just pretend you’re something or someone you’re not. Most people pretend for one of two reasons. Some fall into the people-pleasing trap, where you want to meet their expectations and fulfill their purpose for your life. But even God can’t please everyone, and it’s foolish to attempt something God can’t even do. As one person prays for rain, another prays for sunshine. Someone’s always going to be unhappy. Other people fall into the trap of perfectionism. That’s when you think you must be perfect to be loved. But the problem is, you know better. You know you’re not perfect. So you just pretend. What’s the antidote for pretending? You stop focusing on what others think and start focusing on what God thinks. Only one person knows you completely, loves you unconditionally, and knows exactly what you’re created to do: God. Living for God rather than the approval of others simplifies your life. When you do that, you live for an audience of one, rather than 50. The Bible says it like this: “I have gained perfect freedom by following your teachings” (Psalm 119:45 CEV). Freedom comes when you look to God for approval and not anyone else. You don’t need to earn his love. You don’t need to be perfect to please him. You can’t buy his approval or fake your way to it. He knows everything you’ve ever done, and he loves you—totally, fully, and overwhelmingly. You don’t need to pretend anymore. “We love because he first loved us” (1 John 4:19 NIV).
One reason God wants us to love is because he is love, and he created us to be like him—to love. The only reason we’re able to love is because God loves us: “Love comes from God . . . because God is love” (1 John 4:7-8 NIV). We were created in God’s image to do two things on Earth: Learn to love God and learn to love other people. Life is all about love. But love all started with God. He loved us first, and that gives us the ability to love others (1 John 4:19). The only reason you can love God or love anybody else is because God first loved you. He showed that love by creating you. He showed that love by everything you have in life; it’s all a gift of God’s love. And he showed that love by sending Jesus Christ to Earth to die for you. In order to love others well, we first need to understand and experience how much God loves us. We don’t want to just talk about love, read about love, or discuss love; we need to encounter the love of God. We need to reach a place when we truly understand how God loves us completely and unconditionally. We need to become secure in the truth that we cannot make God stop loving us. Once we’re secure inside God’s unconditional love, we’ll start cutting people a lot more slack. We won’t be as angry as we’ve been. We’ll be more patient. We’ll be more forgiving. We’ll be more merciful. We’ll give others grace. But you cannot give others something you haven’t received yourself. I hope that as you learn how much God loves you, you’ll also let him heal your heart so that his love can flow freely through you. It’s impossible to love others until you really feel loved yourself. “Love the LORD your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the LORD is your life, and he will give you many years in the land he swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob” (Deuteronomy 30:20 NIV).
Too many people have bought into the myth that love is uncontrollable, that it’s something that just happens to us. In fact, even the language we use implies the uncontrollability of love. We say, “I fell in love,” as if love were some kind of a ditch. I’m walking along one day and—bam!—I fell in love. I couldn’t help myself. But here’s the truth: That’s not love. Love doesn’t just happen to you. Love is a choice, and it represents a commitment. There’s no doubt that attraction is uncontrollable and arousal is uncontrollable. But attraction and arousal are not love. They can lead to love, but they are not love. Love is a choice. You must choose to love God; he won’t force you to love him (Deuteronomy 30:20). You can thumb your nose at God and go a totally different way. You can destroy your life if you choose to do that. God still won’t force you to love him, because he knows love can’t be forced. This same principle is true about your relationships: You can choose to love others, but God won’t force you to love anyone. “So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed” (John 8:36 NIV).
The world defines freedom as a life without any restraint: “I can do anything I want to do and say anything I want to say without anybody ordering me around.” Everybody else may get burned by you, but you get to do it your own way. The world says you can have your freedom, but only by being totally selfish. Yet the Bible says the only way to true freedom is through Jesus: “If the Son sets you free, then you will be really free” (John 8:36 GNT). Real freedom is freedom from fear, where you’re truly free from guilt, worry, bitterness, and death. You’re free to quit pretending because you’re free to be yourself. How do you get rid of those kinds of fears? By letting God love you! The apostle John teaches, “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear” (1 John 4:18 NIV). When you realize how much God loves you, you’ll begin to live in true freedom. In fact, you worship God when you recognize that God is love. It is an act of worship to agree that he is a loving, caring, generous God and that we can “rely on the love God has for us” (1 John 4:16 NIV). “Good planning and hard work lead to prosperity, but hasty shortcuts lead to poverty” (Proverbs 21:5 NLT).
If you want God to use you in great ways, you need focus. The more focused you are, the more effective you’ll be—and the more God will use you. There’s awesome power in a focused life. Diffused light doesn’t have much of an effect on what it touches. But when you focus light—like the rays of the sun through a magnifying glass—you can ignite a piece of paper or grass. If you can focus it even more, it becomes a laser. A laser can cut through steel and destroy cancer. The same is true with your life. If you’re directionless, you’ll just drift through without much impact. But if you focus on a few key goals, then you can make a powerful impact on the world for God. The Bible says, “Good planning and hard work lead to prosperity, but hasty shortcuts lead to poverty” (Proverbs 21:5 NLT). One of the great examples of focus in the Bible is the story in Genesis 24. God had promised to create a great nation through Abraham’s own family. But Abraham was getting old, and his son, Isaac, still didn’t have any kids. He wasn’t even married yet. So Abraham gave his servant a goal of finding a wife for his son. Abraham told his servant, “Don’t get a wife from the Canaanites, who live around here. Go back to my country, to the land of my relatives, and find a wife for Isaac.” Like all good goals, the servant’s goal was clear. He knew he needed to find Isaac a wife, and he knew exactly what kind of wife to look for. He needed to find a wife from Abraham’s homeland. You’ll never reach a vague goal because you’ll never know if you’ve completed it. Abraham’s servant didn’t have that problem. For example, if your goal is to be a better parent, that’s vague. Even if you set the goal of spending more time with your children, you’ll never really know if you’ve completed the goal. But if you commit to spending an hour every Tuesday evening with your children, that’s specific. You’ll know whether or not you’ve completed it. Those kinds of goals can change your life. So what specific goal will you set for yourself as you pursue a more focused life? |
AuthorTaken from Daily Hope by Rick Warren. Categories
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