“In everything, do to others what you would have them do to you.”
Matthew 7:12 (NIV) There are many ways to earn the respect of others during times of conflict. Here are three of those ways: Pause before you speak, resolve conflict privately, and appeal to the best in people. But the very first thing you should do is this: Empathize with the feelings of others. If you want people to respect you, you must respect their feelings. What you sow, you will reap. The Bible says, “In everything, do to others what you would have them do to you” (Matthew 7:12 NIV). This is especially true when people are hurting, grieving, fearful, or feel there’s been an injustice against them. People want to know that you understand what they’re going through. They don’t care what you know until they first know that you care. By the way, you don’t have to agree with someone to empathize with their emotions. When you see people protesting, for example, you may not agree with their conclusions, but you can still try to understand why they’re doing what they’re doing. When Nehemiah was faced with conflict, the first thing he did was this: He empathized with the feelings of the people who were complaining and criticizing. He said, “When I heard their outcry and these charges, I was very angry” (Nehemiah 5:6 NIV). He didn’t say he was just angry. He said he was very angry. What was he doing? He was mirroring the mood of the people who were upset. He was validating their feelings by feeling their feelings too. Instead of minimizing their emotions by saying, “Well, don’t be angry,” he showed understanding by saying, “I’m upset too.” You might be thinking, “Isn’t anger a sin?” No, not always. Sometimes anger is an expression of love. If a person hurts someone in your family and you're apathetic instead of angry, then it suggests you don’t love my family. In Scripture, God distinguishes between righteous anger and unrighteous anger, good anger and bad anger. Ephesians 4:26 says, “Be angry, yet do not sin” (BSB). Even Jesus got angry when the leaders around him weren’t helping someone in need. Mark 3:5 says that Jesus looked at them angrily and “was deeply disturbed by their indifference to human need” (TLB). Do you get “deeply disturbed” when you see people being mistreated? If you want to be respected, be like Nehemiah and like Jesus. Empathize with people’s feelings. You don’t have to agree with them, but if you listen empathetically to their feelings, you’ll earn their respect.
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“When I am ready to give up, he knows what I should do.”
Psalm 142:3 (GNT) God doesn’t want you to get discouraged and quit at the halfway point of life. He wants you to make it to the finish line. He’s called you to look up, not give up. Psalm 142:3 says, “When I am ready to give up, he knows what I should do” (GNT). The story of Nehemiah describes four common reasons people get discouraged. The first cause of discouragement is fatigue. Nehemiah 4:10 says, “Then the people of Judah began to complain, ‘The workers are getting tired’” (NLT). Rebuilding anything, of course, is exhausting. They had worked hard on the first half of the project, but they soon grew weary and worn down. They were more vulnerable to attacks from their enemies, physically and spiritually. Nehemiah’s workers offer an important lesson for you today: Sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is go to bed. Why? Because discouragement is often the result of being tired. Circumstances always look better after you’ve had a good night’s sleep. When you’ve had plenty of rest, you’re less vulnerable to self-pity, temptation, and attack from others. The second cause of discouragement is frustration. Not only were the Israelites fatigued; they were frustrated: “There is so much rubble to be moved. We will never be able to build the wall by ourselves” (Nehemiah 4:10 NLT). The project was more complex than they thought it was going to be. The ruin and rubble of their destroyed city was almost too much to handle. What’s the rubble in your life? It’s whatever you keep tripping over. It’s not just physical rubble. It could be emotional, relational, or financial rubble. Or maybe it’s rubble from making bad decisions. The thing about rubble is you will always have it in your life. You live on a broken planet, so there’s no way avoid it. But you can learn how to manage rubble to minimize frustration. How do you do that? By continually cleaning it out of your life. You can start by praying Psalm 25:16: “Come, Lord, and show me your mercy, for I am helpless, overwhelmed, in deep distress” (TLB). The third cause of discouragement is failure. When the Israelites got to the halfway point in rebuilding Jerusalem’s walls, they wondered if they were going to succeed: “Will we ever finish this wall?” (Nehemiah 4:10 CEV). It was taking longer than expected, and they felt defeated and discouraged. The truth is, nobody succeeds at first. The only way you succeed in life is by failing and learning what doesn’t work. Failure is the stepping stone to success. The difference between successful and unsuccessful people is this: Successful people see failure as a temporary setback. Unsuccessful people see it as a mark on their character. Proverbs 24:16 says, “The godly may trip seven times, but they will get up again” (NLT). The fourth cause of discouragement is fear. Not only did Israel’s enemies ridicule the rebuilding efforts, but they also made threats: “Before they know what’s happening, we will swoop down on them and kill them and end their work” (Nehemiah 4:11 NLT). Hearing your enemies talk like that is legitimate reason to be discouraged! The next verse says, “The Jews who lived near the enemy came and told us again and again, ‘They will come from all directions and attack us!’” (Nehemiah 4:12 NLT) Those who lived closest to the enemy were most fearful. Why? Because they were constantly surrounded by extreme negativity. If fear is discouraging you right now, surround yourself with good things and positive voices. Don’t pay attention to negative media. Turn it off, or you’ll only become a more frightened, paranoid, and worried person. What is discouraging you today? Fatigue, frustrations, failure, or fear? Whatever it is, give it to God and “run with endurance the race God has set before [you]” (Hebrews 12:1 NLT). “I never stop giving thanks for you as I mention you in my prayers.”
Ephesians 1:16 (ISV) There is no complicated secret to working well with others. You just have to learn to appreciate them! How do you appreciate them? It’s simple. First, you practice recognizing someone’s value and contribution. Then, you make a habit of telling them, “Thank you.” Nehemiah demonstrates four practical ways to show appreciation for others: Recognize individuals by name. When you thank the people in your life who are making a difference, don’t just say, “You all are doing a great job. Thanks!” Get specific, like Nehemiah did. He singled out 71 people for special appreciation and called each one by name. Recognize specific work. People feel appreciated when you point out the details of their work. Simply telling them they did a good job isn’t enough. It’s better to say, “I’m proud of you for doing this specific thing.” Nehemiah recognized the detailed work of the people. He said, “The Old City Gate was repaired by Joiada son of Paseah and Meshullam son of Besodeiah. They laid the beams, set up its doors, and installed its bolts and bars” (Nehemiah 3:6 NLT). The Bible shows that details matter! Recognize great attitude. It’s hard not to notice great attitudes in a world filled with bad attitudes. In Nehemiah 3:20, Nehemiah singles out one man for his great attitude: “Baruch . . . zealously repaired an additional section” (NLT). When you call attention to the passion and enthusiasm of others, it renews their energy and sparks new energy in others. You’ll end up having more people helping you with the vision God gives you. Recognize extra effort. A man named Meremoth was mentioned twice in Nehemiah for going above and beyond. First, he repaired the fish gate. Then, he “repaired another section” (Nehemiah 3:21 ISV). Nehemiah recognized Meremoth’s extra work and wanted others to notice too. You may have noticed many people in your life that have gone above and beyond to serve others and do their jobs well. You might experience great joy to point out their contributions and tell them how much they are appreciated. Sometimes it’s a conversation. Other times it might be a card or a note. But it can become a habit to notice the efforts and attitudes of others, recognize their perseverance, and encourage them to keep going. It takes practice to live with an attitude of gratitude and a spirit of appreciation. You can start practicing today! “Two can accomplish more than twice as much as one, for the results can be much better. If one falls, the other pulls him up; but if a man falls when he is alone, he’s in trouble. And one standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer; three is even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.”
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, 12 (TLB) God never meant for you to go through life isolated, trying to do everything by yourself. Success happens when you work alongside others. One reason Nehemiah succeeded in rebuilding Jerusalem is because he broke the work down into manageable tasks among many different people. In Nehemiah 3, 18 teams helped to make repairs, and you see the phrase “next to him” or “next to them” 21 times. Nehemiah wanted the people to understand something. He gave them a pep talk that went something like this: “If you get tired and discouraged, just look to your left and look to your right, and you’ll see people working next to you. You’ll realize you’re not alone. You’re part of a team.” He helped people feel part of something bigger than themselves. He did this by creating a spirit of teamwork among the people. The New Testament uses the phrase “one another” 58 times. The Bible says we’re to love one another, help one another, serve one another, bear one another’s burdens, and so on. This is how you develop a team spirit. Why is a team spirit essential to reaching your goals? The Bible says, “Two can accomplish more than twice as much as one, for the results can be much better. If one falls, the other pulls him up; but if a man falls when he is alone, he’s in trouble. And one standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer; three is even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, 12 TLB). The Apostle Paul understood this principle of developing a team spirit. He never did any of his ministry alone. He always took a team with him. The same is true with Jesus. His entire ministry was done with a group of 12 people. In fact, the first thing Jesus did in his ministry was build a small group. Maybe you’re struggling to accomplish your goal because you’ve been going at it alone. Remember, you were never meant to live without community. The work God has for you will always be accomplished in partnership with others. “He got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm. The men were amazed and asked, ‘What kind of man is this? Even the winds and the waves obey him!’”
Matthew 8:26-27 (NIV) Any time you’re in a situation you have absolutely no control over, switch your focus to the greatness of God. That’s called worship, and it’s an antidote for withstanding the potentially devastating winds of life. During stormy days—when your health is declining, your spouse is unfaithful, or your friends are critical—you have a choice to make. Are you going to worry? Or are you going to worship? There is a beautiful example of this in the New Testament. Jesus is out in a boat with his disciples on the Sea of Galilee. The Sea of Galilee was—and still is—a huge lake, making it easy for storms to come up suddenly. And that’s exactly what happened. Matthew 8:24-25 says, “Suddenly a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. The disciples went and woke him, saying, ‘Lord, save us! We’re going to drown!’” (NIV). The ship was tossing and turning, but Jesus kept on sleeping. He was at peace; he wasn’t worried. But the disciples were panicked. Jesus said to them, “‘You of little faith, why are you so afraid?’ Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm. The men were amazed and asked, ‘What kind of man is this? Even the winds and the waves obey him!’” (Matthew 8:26-27 NIV). The entire experience left the disciples in awe of Jesus. They had forgotten for a moment who Jesus was. But when they saw him display his power over nature, it turned their focus away from their fear and onto God’s greatness. In other words, the experience made them worship. Worship is one way to set your sail so that the winds of life drive you in the direction you want to go—toward Jesus. Stormy winds can push you off course and threaten to drown you. Instead, let winds of pain, trauma, and stress drive you to focus on God and set your sail toward him. What are you afraid of in this season of your life? Whatever it is, with Jesus is in your boat, your boat is unsinkable. He has power over nature—and over everything else. “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor. If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.”
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 (NIV) As you look to God to do great things in your life, there are two facts you need to understand about the dreams he gives you. First, no dream is built without the support of others. Just like a building needs support, your dream needs support. True success is never a one-man show. Anything significant you do in life will require help from others. God intentionally wired us to need each other so we will learn how to work together. The Bible says, “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor. If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 NIV). Why can’t you go after your dream by yourself? Here are three reasons:
The bottom line is this: It takes a team to fulfill a dream. Second, no dream is ever built without opposition. The moment you decide to go after the dream God gives you, someone will try to discourage you. The moment you say, “Let’s do this,” they’ll say, “Let’s not!” Dream busters are literally everywhere. They are often resistant to change and feel it’s their job to bring you down. When Nehemiah made plans to rebuild Jerusalem, Sanballat and Tobiah, two critics of Nehemiah’s plan, “became very angry, because they didn’t want anyone to help the people of Israel” (Nehemiah 2:10 CEV). They mocked and ridiculed Nehemiah and the people’s desire to rebuild. But Nehemiah didn’t spend much time responding to his critics—and you shouldn’t either. If all you did was respond to what other people think of you, you’d never get anything done. Instead, like Nehemiah, reply simply and move on. Nehemiah said, “The God of heaven will give us success. We his servants will start rebuilding” (Nehemiah 2:20 NIV). Remember, to fulfill a dream you need a team, and when you pursue a dream, you’ll always find opposition. When you understand these two facts about dream-building, you’ll be better equipped to fulfill God’s plan for your life. “Mark out a straight path for your feet; stay on the safe path.”
Proverbs 4:26 (NLT) God has a plan for your life—but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t make plans too. He doesn’t want you to drift along, letting circumstances determine the direction of your life. He wants you to be intentional about the path you choose. Although the Bible gives many reasons for planning, here are three reasons that are foundational. God makes plans. Jeremiah 29:11 says, “‘I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future’” (NIV). God wants you to be like him. So, if God makes plans, then you should make plans too. But there’s one thing God is not: “God is not a God of disorder” (1 Corinthians 14:33 NIV). Do you have any plans for the rest of the year? The next 10 years? If you haven’t made any plans for your life, then it’s likely your life is out of order—and that’s not how God created you to live. God expects you to plan because it is beneficial to your life. Throughout Scripture, particularly in the book of Proverbs, the Bible talks about the value of planning your life. Proverbs 4:26 says, “Mark out a straight path for your feet” (NLT). That’s just another way of saying, “Make a plan.” God tells you to plan because he doesn’t want you to live a life of confusion as you muddle through each day. The Bible says, “Everything should be done in a fitting and orderly way” (1 Corinthians 14:40 NIV). God doesn’t want you to waste your life. Planning is a matter of stewardship. Your life is God’s gift to you. What you do with it is your gift back to God. Ephesians 5:15-17 says, “Live life, then, with a due sense of responsibility, not as [those] who do not know the meaning and purpose of life but as those who do. Make the best use of your time, despite all the difficulties of these days. Don’t be vague but firmly grasp what you know to be the will of God” (PHILLIPS). The old cliché is true: If you’re failing to plan, you’re planning to fail. Take steps today toward building a better future by writing down a simple plan. Then ask God for help every day to move forward in faith. “Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.”
John 13:17 (NIV) The uncontrollable winds of life—relational winds, financial winds, and spiritual winds—can overwhelm you and throw you off course. But God’s Word is filled with principles to help you withstand even the toughest winds. Today we’ll look at an antidote for destructive winds: Put into practice everything you learn. God doesn’t just want you just to hear his Word. He wants you to do it—to obey it, to practice it. The Bible says, “Everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock” (Matthew 7:24-25 NIV). Notice the three things that happen in a storm. The rain comes down, attacking the roof of your life. The streams rise, flooding the foundation of your life. And the winds blow, beating against the walls of your life. You’re getting it from the top, the bottom, and the side. And you have no control over any of it. What do you do with the uncontrollable things of life—that diagnosis you can’t control, a child you can’t control, or financial hardship you can’t control? You put into practice everything you have learned in Scripture. And when you do, you won’t fall down because the foundation of your house is built on the rock. What’s the rock? The rock is the Word of God. And the more you build your life on it, the more solid you’re going to be. The wind can come and cause enormous problems, but it won’t devastate your life when you’re doing what God says. John 13:17 says, “Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them” (NIV). That verse doesn’t say you’ll be blessed if you know these things. It says you’ll be blessed if you do them. Maybe you’re coming out of a stormy season right now—or maybe you’re about to go through one. It can't be stressed enough: Build your life on the unshakeable Word of God. It’s the only foundation you can trust. “Now this is what the LORD Almighty says: ‘Give careful thought to your ways.’”
Haggai 1:5 (NIV) After you’ve gone through a challenging season, you’ll eventually be ready to resume life again. But as you do, you should keep a few principles in mind. You should expect to feel mixed emotions and also take time to extract the lessons you’ve learned from the hard time. And here’s another thing you should do: Evaluate everything. Whether you’re returning to life after a pandemic, a divorce, an illness, or another time of great fear or loss, don’t automatically say, “Well, I’m just going to do everything the way I’ve always done it.” Why? Because hardship changes people. You’re not the same person after a trauma that you were before. Instead of returning to the same old patterns, behaviors, and habits, God wants to give you an opportunity to reset your life. There are likely some things you were doing before the hard times that you shouldn’t start up again. As the ancient Jews resumed “normal life’ after being in captivity, the prophet Haggai had a message for them: “Now this is what the LORD Almighty says: ‘Give careful thought to your ways. You have planted much, but harvested little. You eat, but never have enough. You drink, but never have your fill. You put on clothes, but are not warm. You earn wages, only to put them in a purse with holes in it’” (Haggai 1:5-6 NIV). Haggai’s words seem like metaphors of dissatisfaction: I keep eating, but I’m still hungry; I keep drinking, but I’m still thirsty. In other words, if what you did before the hard times was so unfulfilling, why go back to it? One way you can “give careful thought to your ways” is to make a “don’t do” list—not a “to do” list. Some things you used to do aren’t necessarily wrong—such as spending a lot of time on things like social media, watching television, or shopping. You just don’t need to resume them because they’re not necessary. So add them to your “don’t do” list. After a hard season, God wants to rebuild your life and make it better and healthier than it ever was before. But you have a part in that too. You need to take time to evaluate everything before you head back into the world. “You have experienced many things. Were all those experiences wasted? I hope not!”
Galatians 3:4 (ICB) The Bible is filled with principles to help you resume life successfully after a tough season. Extract the lessons you learned. Before you rush off and start a bunch of new things after going through a difficult time, God wants you to pause and consider the lessons you learned. Don’t let all the pain you went through be wasted. Take time to glean the spiritual truths from everything you’ve experienced. The Bible says, “You have experienced many things. Were all those experiences wasted? I hope not!” (Galatians 3:4 ICB) One way to be sure you don’t waste your hard experiences is to write down each lesson you’ve learned. That way you can review them later to share with other generations. What happens when you do this? The suffering you went through will suddenly have incredible value. Deuteronomy 4:9 says, “You must be very careful not to forget the things you have seen God do for you. Keep reminding yourselves, and tell your children and grandchildren as well” (CEV). You might consider getting alone by yourself in a quiet place—just you and a journal. This could be your life journal. A life journal isn’t a diary of each day’s activities. Future generations won’t be interested in what you did; they’ll be interested in what you learned. Here are some questions you can answer in your life journal: What did I learn about what matters most? What did I learn about what matters least? What did I learn about my weaknesses? What did I learn about my strengths? What did I learn about my relationships? What did I learn about my pace of living? What did I learn about God? What did I learn about the world and the culture around me? What did I learn about money? What did I learn about happiness? Remember: Before you do a life reset after a season of crisis, loss, or trauma, write down all the lessons you’ve learned. Then you won’t “forget the things you have seen God do for you”—and you will never have to learn those lessons again. |
AuthorTaken from Daily Hope by Rick Warren. Categories
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