“He makes the whole body fit together perfectly. As each part does its own special work, it helps the other parts grow.”
Ephesians 4:16 (NLT) There are some things you will never learn on your own. You only learn them in community. To grow and develop your potential, you must learn from other people. For example, you can only learn forgiveness in relationships. You can’t learn that on your own. You can only learn loyalty in relationships. You can only learn love in relationships. You can’t learn kindness or faithfulness or graciousness or unselfishness without others. In fact, the most important things you need to learn in life require that you be in relationship to other people. You can’t do it on your own. If you want to build your potential, you must learn from others. Where is the best place to do that? In God’s family. You learn it by being connected to the body of Christ. Ephesians 4:16 says, “He makes the whole body fit together perfectly. As each part does its own special work, it helps the other parts grow” (NLT). This is why I’ve talked so much about small groups over the years—because I’ve seen it work: I’ve seen people join a small group who felt unconnected, who were unsure of their purpose, who needed direction in serving others, who just needed to be known. And being in community with others in God’s family made all the difference. Sharing their lives and being open about their struggles and cheering each other on in life made all the difference. Why does sharing your life with others make a difference? Because you weren’t made for success. You were made for significance. And the best way to live a life of significance is in relationship with others, serving and sharing and growing and worshiping with them. You need the people God has placed in your life. And they need you! God wired us to depend on each other and to learn from each other. When you’re connected to other people, it’s not just you who grows and benefits. You also use your gifts and experiences to help others fulfill their purpose. We need each other!
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“Then he chose twelve of them to be his apostles, so they could be with him.”
Mark 3:14 (CEV) If I were to ask you to complete this sentence, “If you want a job done right . . .” you would probably finish it with this: “. . . do it yourself.” But that’s the motto of a perfectionist headed for burnout—because you can’t do every job by yourself. Jesus was human, just like us. And just like us, he was never meant to handle the stress of daily life by himself. Do you know the first thing Jesus did when he started his ministry? He formed a small group. Mark 3:14 says, “Then he chose twelve of them to be his apostles, so they could be with him” (CEV). That was his small group! Jesus gathered a small group before starting his ministry, because he knew God wanted him to do ministry and walk through his hardest days with his friends by his side. If anybody had a right to say, “If you want a job done right, do it yourself,” it was Jesus. He had the power to do anything, yet even he knew the power of having a small group for support. When he went to the Garden of Gethsemane, just before the cross, Jesus said to his disciples in Matthew 26:38, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me” (NIV). Even Jesus needed people to pray with him. Even Jesus needed the support of a small group when he was in a crisis. So much of our stress is self-imposed. We get uptight when we think it all depends on us—but it doesn’t. God hasn’t called you to be the general manager of the universe, let alone expect you to be able to manage your own life by yourself. You need his direction and strength, and you need the support of a small group. We often don’t accept help from other people because of our insecurity and pride, and so we stay stressed out. But there are people of faith who are willing to help and support you—and people who need your help and support. Humble yourself and admit that you can’t do it on your own. And you don’t have to! God made the church to help you in stressful times. And he will lead you to the people you need if you’ll just let your guard down and trust him to provide. “Because you are praying for me and the Spirit of Jesus Christ is helping me, I know this trouble will bring my freedom.”
Philippians 1:19 (NCV) When we experience setbacks, our most common response is our worst response: We want to withdraw, to build a wall around ourselves, to push people away. But that’s the last thing we should do. When setbacks leave your faith weak, you need other people to trust God for you. You need a church family to help support you. When Job lost his family, finances, and health, it was a devastating setback—just as it would have been for anyone. But here’s what one of Job’s friends told him: “Don’t let your anger and the pain you endured make you sneer at God . . . Others have praised God for what he has done, so join with them” (Job 36:18, 24 CEV). That’s great advice. When you’re in the midst of troubles, don’t get bitter. Join with others who can pray with you, worship with you, and support you. Where do you find that kind of support? First, join with others for worship at a local church. Worshiping with other people will give you a new perspective on your setbacks. Second, get involved in some kind of small group Bible study. Most churches are too big to build relationships just through attending worship services. You need a group of 10 to 12 people to gather with not only to study the Bible, but also to share your pain and pray together. You won’t find a comeback on your own. You need God’s people to build you up and help you focus on God. Gathering with others will be a huge step toward your comeback. Just ask Paul. As he sat in a Roman prison, Paul wrote this about the support of other Christians: “Because you are praying for me and the Spirit of Jesus Christ is helping me, I know this trouble will bring my freedom” (Philippians 1:19 NCV). With the support and prayers of God’s people, your setback is only temporary. Your best days are ahead. “I want us to help each other with the faith we have. Your faith will help me, and my faith will help you.”
Romans 1:12 (NCV) Jesus believes in you. There is plenty of proof in the Bible! “If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you” (Matthew 17:20 NIV). “Everything is possible for one who believes” (Mark 9:23 NIV). “If you have faith and don’t doubt, you can do things like this and much more” (Matthew 21:21 TLB). Jesus believes you can do great things because when you place your trust in him, his Spirit lives inside you. He also wants you to help others believe this about themselves. The apostle Paul offered this encouragement: “I want us to help each other with the faith we have. Your faith will help me, and my faith will help you” (Romans 1:12 NCV). Each day you encounter people with low self-esteem. Everybody has insecurities. And many people are repeatedly playing a tape in their mind of how someone said to them long ago that they wouldn’t amount to anything. How can people reverse that curse? You can help them start believing what Jesus says about them instead of believing what other people say. The Bible says in 1 Corinthians 13:7, “If you love someone, you will be loyal to him no matter what the cost. You will always believe in him, always expect the best of him, and always stand your ground in defending him” (TLB). That’s what God wants you to do. He wants you to show faith in others so they can believe what God says about them. One of the best ways we do this in the church is by being part of a small group. When you have a really tough week and you’re doubting and down and discouraged, you need a group of trusted people who will believe for you. And you can do the same for them! Followers of Jesus don’t just believe in Christ. We also believe in each other. Your faith can help grow the faith of others as you believe in them like Jesus believes in you. “Be friendly with everyone. Don’t be proud and feel that you know more than others. Make friends with ordinary people.”
Romans 12:16 (CEV) Everybody’s looking for true friends—not just acquaintances but people who are there with you when you need them most. God wants you to build true friendships with the people that are already in your life so that you can share the Gospel with them. God has put your co-workers and classmates, neighbors and teammates in your life so you can share with them about the most important decision they will ever make. If you don’t tell them about what Christ has done for them, then who will? The Bible says in Romans 12:16, “Be friendly with everyone. Don’t be proud and feel that you know more than others. Make friends with ordinary people” (CEV). Christians tend to fall into one of two extremes: isolation or imitation. Some Christians say, “I don’t want to get polluted by the world. I’m just going to isolate myself. I’ll build a wall and my own little culture.” Isolation doesn’t work! How are you going to build any friendships that way? The other extreme is imitation, which says, “Let’s be just like the world. We’ll dress like the latest pop star. We’ll say whatever we want about other people. We’ll have whatever values and goals popular culture tells us we should have. We’ll be no different from the world.” That’s not what God wants you to be either. He doesn’t want you to give in to the lowest common denominators of society. The answer is not isolation or imitation. The Bible says you are to be salt and light in the world. You’re to penetrate the world with God’s goodness. God wants you to be holy and secure in your faith. He also wants you to walk out your door into the world and get to know the people he’s placed in your life. As you build relationships with people around you and share truth with them, you are to be in the world but not of the world. “For the Holy Spirit, God’s gift, does not want you to be afraid of people, but to be wise and strong, and to love them and enjoy being with them” (2 Timothy 1:7 TLB). “In humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”
Philippians 2:3-4 (NIV) Each one of us needs other people to watch out for us—to defend us, protect us, and help us stay on track. In the book of Philippians, the apostle Paul tells us that we should look out for each other’s interests, not just our own. What a countercultural verse! In many cultures today, it’s all about me—my needs, my interests, my wants, and my ambitions. But Paul teaches us to look out for others too. Many of us are aware of the physical dangers that sometimes threaten us and the people around us, but did you know that you have a spiritual enemy too—one that’s far more destructive than any human? His name is Satan, and he wants to defeat you. He wants to bring problems into your life, ruin your relationships, and hurt you as badly as he can. Why does he want to hurt you? Because he wants to hurt God, but he can’t, and so he goes after God’s children. On your own, you will never win against Satan. But when you have other people to watch out for you and help you, you can be victorious. Here’s good advice from Ecclesiastes 4:12: “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves” (NIV). Does anyone have your back? Is anyone defending you and watching out for your spiritual welfare? You need a community of people who are saying to you: “We’ll be with you when you’re going through tough times. We’re not going to let you get discouraged or depressed.” Community is God’s answer to defeat. Ecclesiastes 4:10 says, “If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up” (NIV). Remember: You can try, but you can’t live life well on your own. We all need other people to walk with us, work with us, and watch out for us. You don’t have to watch your back because you have God’s family all around you. When you depend on them, you’ll stand firm in faith and truth. “It is not good for the man to be alone.”
Genesis 2:18 (NIV) The Bible often compares life to a walk—because life is a journey. We don’t sit still! Throughout the New Testament, we are told to walk in wisdom, love, light, and obedience. We’re told to walk as Jesus walked. We’re also told to walk alongside other people through life. Here are three reasons you need to walk with other people: It’s safer. Have you ever walked alone at night through a dark alley or down a lonely country road? It’s a little scary. But if you have another person with you, you feel safer. It’s supportive. Life is not a 50-yard dash. It’s a marathon. Walking with other people gives you the energy and encouragement you need to keep going until the end. It’s smarter. You learn more by walking with others than by walking alone. If you’re walking alone in the wrong direction, you may never realize it. But if you have a friend beside you, one of you is likely to recognize that you’ve veered off the path and need to find the right direction. There are some important lessons you learn when you walk with other people. You learn how to get along and cooperate with others. You also learn how to love. Genesis 2:18 says, “It is not good for the man to be alone” (NIV). God hates when you are lonely, and community is God’s answer to loneliness. When you walk with other people, you find a community where you learn how to love more like Jesus. Walking alongside other people also teaches hospitality. The Bible says in 1 Peter 4:9, “Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling” (NIV). What’s your grumble? What’s your excuse for not opening your home to friends? Maybe you’ve said, “My home is dirty!” Your friends are more interested in spending time with you than they are your housekeeping skills—and they show grace. Or perhaps your excuse is, “My home isn’t big enough.” Can you put three people in it? Jesus says, “For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them” (Matthew 18:20 NIV). Everybody has a longing for belonging because God made us for relationships. When you walk alongside other Christians in community, you find that longing satisfied. “No more lying, then! Each of you must tell the truth to the other believer, because we are all members together in the body of Christ.”
Ephesians 4:25 (GNT) Real change requires honest community. There are some things that you will never be able to change on your own. You’re going to need people in your life for support—specifically, a small group of people who will be transparent and authentic with you. Sometimes in a football game, a player is so big that no opposing player can pull him down on his own. In the same way, some of the challenges in your life have to be team-tackled. That’s when you need a small group—but not just any group of people. Your small group should be made up of a few people you can talk with about your weaknesses and problems—all your hurts, habits, and hang-ups. That kind of intimacy doesn’t happen right away. When you first start a small group, you get together regularly. Then, over time, you begin to trust each other and develop a safe environment. Those people become the friends who can help you change when you can’t change on your own. Ephesians 4:25 says, “No more lying, then! Each of you must tell the truth to the other believer, because we are all members together in the body of Christ” (GNT). When you pretend to be someone you’re really not, you waste an enormous amount of energy. You may sincerely want to grow in Christ and to work on your weaknesses. But to do that, you have to be honest with your small group about who you really are. That kind of honesty is essential for spiritual change. If you could change on your own, you would, but you can’t—so you don’t. You need other people! One thing that keeps most people from being honest is their desire to look good. Your desire to look good often takes precedence over being good. And it becomes a hurdle to spiritual growth. But in a small group of other believers, you’re safe just to be yourself. Then you can grow together and make the hard changes you couldn’t make on your own. “Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble.”
1 Peter 3:8 (NIV) There are situations every day that no one should ever have to go through alone. Nobody should ever have to wait alone in the hospital while a loved one is in life-or-death surgery. No woman should ever have to wait alone for the lab report on a problem pregnancy. Nobody should ever have to wait alone for news from a battlefield. No one should ever have to stand alone at the edge of an open grave. Nobody should ever have to spend the first night alone when their spouse has just walked out. Life’s tough times and tragedies are inevitable; each of us will face them. But you don’t need to go through them alone. You need God’s safety net to help hold you up through difficult times. What is God’s safety net? It is a group of other believers—a handful of people who are really committed to you. We call this kind of group a community. Here’s God’s plan for community: “If one part suffers, every part suffers with it” (1 Corinthians 12:26 NIV). Community is God’s answer to despair. Romans 12:15 expresses a similar idea: “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn” (NIV). The first part of that verse is easy to do. When something good happens to someone, it’s often easy to join in on the party. But when someone is having a tough time, it can seem more difficult to get involved. But, really, it’s simple. When you’re going through a crisis, you don’t want advice; you just want somebody to sit with you, hold your hand, put an arm around your shoulder, or cry with you. You want someone simply to be with you. Paul says, “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up” (1 Thessalonians 5:11 NIV). But encouraging someone else doesn’t always mean giving a pep talk or offering words of wisdom. Sometimes the best kind of encouragement is just sitting in silence, waiting and weeping with a friend. Do you have a safety net, a group of fellow Christians that you know you can count on in life’s toughest times? If not, go out today and begin building those friendships. The hard times in life are inevitable. Don’t go into them unprepared. “And now, just as you accepted Christ Jesus as your Lord, you must continue to follow him.”
Colossians 2:6 (NLT) The Bible often compares life to a walk because life is a journey—you’re not sitting still. The New Testament repeatedly says that you should walk in wisdom, love, light, and obedience. It tells you to walk as Jesus walked—including walking alongside other people. Here are three reasons you need to walk with other people: It’s safer. Have you ever walked alone at night through a dark alley or down a lonely country road? It’s a little scary. But if you have another person with you, you feel safer. It’s supportive. Life is not a 50-yard dash; it’s a marathon. Walking with other people gives you the energy to keep on going until the end. It’s smarter. You learn more by walking with others than by walking alone. If you’re walking alone in the wrong direction, you may never realize it. But if you have a friend beside you, one of you is likely to recognize you’ve veered off the path. Then you can find the right direction together. There are other ways you get smarter by walking with other people. You learn some important lessons together. You learn how to get along and cooperate with others. You also learn how to love. Genesis 2:18 says, “It is not good for the man to be alone” (NIV). Community is God’s answer to loneliness. When you walk alongside other people, you find a community where you learn how to love. Walking alongside other people also teaches you hospitality. The Bible says in 1 Peter 4:9, “Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling” (NIV). What’s your grumble? What’s your excuse for not opening your home to friends? Maybe you’ve said, “My home is dirty!” Well, clean it up! Or perhaps your excuse is, “My home isn’t big enough.” Can you put three people in it? Jesus says, “For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them” (Matthew 18:20 NIV). Everybody has a longing for belonging because God made us for relationships. When you walk alongside other Christians in community, you find that longing satisfied. |
AuthorTaken from Daily Hope by Rick Warren. Categories
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