“Look out for one another's interests, not just for your own.”
Philippians 2:4 (GNT) Selflessness brings out the best in others. It builds relationships. What does it mean to be selfless? It means you think a little less of yourself and a little more of others. The opposite of selflessness is selfishness—and it’s the number one cause of conflict and arguments. The Bible says, “What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You desire but do not have” (James 4:1-2 NIV). Self-centeredness destroys relationships. The problem is, being selfish is human nature. We naturally think about our own interests, our hurts, how we look, and how we feel. Even culture tells us, “Do what you think is best for you.” But the Bible says, “Look out for one another’s interests, not just for your own” (Philippians 2:4 GNT). What happens when you look out for others’ interests and not just your own? Not only will it transform your relationships, but it will also transform other people. It causes the other person to change, because you’re not the same person anymore, allowing them to relate to you in a different way. When you treat cranky, unlikable people with kindness, instead of treating them the way they deserve, they often transform into nice people. The greatest lesson in life is learning to be unselfish—but it won’t happen overnight. It’s going to take the rest of your life. The good news is, God doesn’t leave you all alone to learn how to be selfless. Romans 8:26 says, “The Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness” (NLT). Never stop making the effort to be more selfless. God’s Spirit is with you to help you break the cycle of selfishness! When you do, you will see transformation in all your relationships.
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“Be friendly with everyone. Don’t be proud and feel that you know more than others. Make friends with ordinary people.”
Romans 12:16 (CEV) Everybody’s looking for true friends—not just acquaintances but people who are there with you when you need them most. God wants you to build true friendships with the people that are already in your life so that you can share the Gospel with them. God has put your co-workers and classmates, neighbors and teammates in your life so you can share with them about the most important decision they will ever make. If you don’t tell them about what Christ has done for them, then who will? The Bible says in Romans 12:16, “Be friendly with everyone. Don’t be proud and feel that you know more than others. Make friends with ordinary people” (CEV). Christians tend to fall into one of two extremes: isolation or imitation. Some Christians say, “I don’t want to get polluted by the world. I’m just going to isolate myself. I’ll build a wall and my own little culture.” Isolation doesn’t work! How are you going to build any friendships that way? The other extreme is imitation, which says, “Let’s be just like the world. We’ll dress like the latest pop star. We’ll say whatever we want about other people. We’ll have whatever values and goals popular culture tells us we should have. We’ll be no different from the world.” That’s not what God wants you to be either. He doesn’t want you to give in to the lowest common denominators of society. The answer is not isolation or imitation. The Bible says you are to be salt and light in the world. You’re to penetrate the world with God’s goodness. God wants you to be holy and secure in your faith. He also wants you to walk out your door into the world and get to know the people he’s placed in your life. As you build relationships with people around you and share truth with them, you are to be in the world but not of the world. “For the Holy Spirit, God’s gift, does not want you to be afraid of people, but to be wise and strong, and to love them and enjoy being with them” (2 Timothy 1:7 TLB). “In humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”
Philippians 2:3-4 (NIV) Each one of us needs other people to watch out for us—to defend us, protect us, and help us stay on track. In the book of Philippians, the apostle Paul tells us that we should look out for each other’s interests, not just our own. What a countercultural verse! In many cultures today, it’s all about me—my needs, my interests, my wants, and my ambitions. But Paul teaches us to look out for others too. Many of us are aware of the physical dangers that sometimes threaten us and the people around us, but did you know that you have a spiritual enemy too—one that’s far more destructive than any human? His name is Satan, and he wants to defeat you. He wants to bring problems into your life, ruin your relationships, and hurt you as badly as he can. Why does he want to hurt you? Because he wants to hurt God, but he can’t, and so he goes after God’s children. On your own, you will never win against Satan. But when you have other people to watch out for you and help you, you can be victorious. Here’s good advice from Ecclesiastes 4:12: “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves” (NIV). Does anyone have your back? Is anyone defending you and watching out for your spiritual welfare? You need a community of people who are saying to you: “We’ll be with you when you’re going through tough times. We’re not going to let you get discouraged or depressed.” Community is God’s answer to defeat. Ecclesiastes 4:10 says, “If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up” (NIV). Remember: You can try, but you can’t live life well on your own. We all need other people to walk with us, work with us, and watch out for us. You don’t have to watch your back because you have God’s family all around you. When you depend on them, you’ll stand firm in faith and truth. “It is not good for the man to be alone.”
Genesis 2:18 (NIV) The Bible often compares life to a walk—because life is a journey. We don’t sit still! Throughout the New Testament, we are told to walk in wisdom, love, light, and obedience. We’re told to walk as Jesus walked. We’re also told to walk alongside other people through life. Here are three reasons you need to walk with other people: It’s safer. Have you ever walked alone at night through a dark alley or down a lonely country road? It’s a little scary. But if you have another person with you, you feel safer. It’s supportive. Life is not a 50-yard dash. It’s a marathon. Walking with other people gives you the energy and encouragement you need to keep going until the end. It’s smarter. You learn more by walking with others than by walking alone. If you’re walking alone in the wrong direction, you may never realize it. But if you have a friend beside you, one of you is likely to recognize that you’ve veered off the path and need to find the right direction. There are some important lessons you learn when you walk with other people. You learn how to get along and cooperate with others. You also learn how to love. Genesis 2:18 says, “It is not good for the man to be alone” (NIV). God hates when you are lonely, and community is God’s answer to loneliness. When you walk with other people, you find a community where you learn how to love more like Jesus. Walking alongside other people also teaches hospitality. The Bible says in 1 Peter 4:9, “Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling” (NIV). What’s your grumble? What’s your excuse for not opening your home to friends? Maybe you’ve said, “My home is dirty!” Your friends are more interested in spending time with you than they are your housekeeping skills—and they show grace. Or perhaps your excuse is, “My home isn’t big enough.” Can you put three people in it? Jesus says, “For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them” (Matthew 18:20 NIV). Everybody has a longing for belonging because God made us for relationships. When you walk alongside other Christians in community, you find that longing satisfied. “Then David got up from the ground, washed himself, put on lotions, and changed his clothes. He went to the Tabernacle and worshiped the Lord. After that, he returned to the palace and was served food and ate.”
2 Samuel 12:20 (NLT) Imagine you went into work one day at a job where you’ve dedicated 10 years of your life, and suddenly they tell you, “You’re fired. Sorry!” You would be in shock! You would be paralyzed and wouldn’t be able to think what to do. That’s how most of us would react to an unexpected loss. But even in the grief, shock, sorrow, sadness, and struggle of a loss, God wants to start you on a path of peace so that you can heal. The first step is surrender, and part of surrender is to do something productive. Maybe it’s just a little step. And you only have to take one small step at a time! The Bible describes King David’s step forward after his infant son had died: “Then David got up from the ground, washed himself, put on lotions, and changed his clothes. He went to the Tabernacle and worshiped the Lord. After that, he returned to the palace and was served food and ate” (2 Samuel 12:20 NLT). Why did he go to the palace? He’s the king, and the palace is his place of productivity. The palace is where he works. He’s basically signaling that he’s going back to work. Do you think that, one day after his baby died, David is over his grief? Of course not. You don’t ever get over grief; you get through it. David is still grieving, he’s still sad, and he was probably still overwhelmed. But he took one small step of returning home and nourishing his body. When you have a major loss—someone just walked out of your life, something precious is taken from you, a dream has died, you get bad news from the doctor—you have to take a first step toward peace. If you wait until you feel like taking that first step, then you’re not going to feel like it for a long, long time. You just have to move forward in faith. You don’t have to stop mourning to start moving. “We were crushed and overwhelmed beyond our ability to endure, and we thought we would never live through it. In fact, we expected to die. But as a result, we stopped relying on ourselves and learned to rely only on God, who raises the dead.”
2 Corinthians 1:8-9 (NLT) Life is full of heartache. We suffer, feel lonely and discouraged, and face criticism. And sometimes that can feel unfair—but it’s not! Ask yourself this: Did Jesus suffer? Was he sometimes lonely? Was he tempted to be discouraged? Was he misunderstood and criticized unjustly? Yes! Jesus understands suffering better than anyone. None of us are exempt from suffering, loneliness, discouragement, or criticism, because God is developing in us the character of Christ. In order to do that, he takes us through some of the same struggles that Jesus experienced. Does that mean God causes tragedies? No, God is good. He won’t cause evil or do evil. But God can use dark and stressful times for good. He’ll use them to show us how to help others, to teach us to trust him, and to draw us closer to other believers. The apostle Paul and the people around him found this to be true. Paul says, “He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others” (2 Corinthians 1:4 NLT). And then Paul goes on to explain how he and his companions learn to trust God through hard times: “We were crushed and overwhelmed beyond our ability to endure, and we thought we would never live through it. In fact, we expected to die. But as a result, we stopped relying on ourselves and learned to rely only on God, who raises the dead” (2 Corinthians 1:8-9 NLT). Through their struggles, they became closer to God but also to other believers: “You are helping us by praying for us. Then many people will give thanks because God has graciously answered so many prayers for our safety” (2 Corinthians 1:11 NLT). So what should you do when you’re going through difficult times?
We all go through difficult times. The difference for those who believe in Jesus is our confidence in God’s promise to be with us, grow us in spiritual maturity, and use our difficulties for good. “Even when we are weighed down with troubles, it is for your comfort and salvation! For when we ourselves are comforted, we will certainly comfort you. Then you can patiently endure the same things we suffer.”
2 Corinthians 1:6 (NLT) Everyone is going to face problems and difficulties in life. God will give you all the grace you need to endure those hard times. But he also wants you to be willing to use your experiences to help other people. God doesn’t want you to waste your hurt! The Bible says, “Even when we are weighed down with troubles, it is for your comfort and salvation! For when we ourselves are comforted, we will certainly comfort you. Then you can patiently endure the same things we suffer” (2 Corinthians 1:6 NLT). Did you know that God sometimes allows you to go through problems for the benefit of other people? He may let you go through a period of darkness, depression, or discouragement so that you can comfort others with the same comfort he gives you. In fact, your greatest life messages always come out of your weaknesses, not your strengths. Who can better help somebody who’s in recovery for alcoholism than somebody who’s also walked through recovery? Who can better help somebody who is going through the pain of a divorce than someone who has healed from divorce? And who can better help the parent of a seriously ill child than another parent who’s experienced the same heartache? The things in your life you wish you could change are often the very things God wants to use to help you grow in spiritual maturity and as a ministry. While God works in you, he also wants to work through you to help others. The Bible says that love never gives up. It is always hopeful and endures through every circumstance. Love considers other people. Love turns other people’s problems and needs into your problems and needs. Love looks at other people like God sees them and gives them what they need, not what they deserve. That’s what Jesus did. He suffered all kinds of problems and shame and went to the cross—not for his benefit but for our salvation. Follow his example, and use your hurt to help others. “The Lord is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him. For he knows how weak we are; he remembers we are only dust.”
Psalm 103:13-14 (NLT) Lament is not a word that we use much today—but it’s a practice that is essential to your emotional and spiritual health. What is lament? A lament is a passionate expression of grief to God. You cry out to God. You may even shout to God. You may weep. You may yell. Lament is an act of worship that can include arguing with God and complaining to him. “Wait a minute,” you’re probably thinking. Complaining to God can be an act of worship? That’s right: When you complain about God, that’s an act of rebellion. But when you complain to God, that’s an act of worship. You can complain to God all you want. God can handle it! He can handle your rage and resentment and regrets and accusations—because he already knows it all. He just wants you to get it off your chest. He wants you to admit it or confess it to him. “The Lord is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him. For he knows how weak we are; he remembers we are only dust” (Psalm 103:13-14 NLT). God isn’t afraid of negative emotions. We are, but God isn’t. He wants you to let it all out in lament because he knows that life is not all sunshine and roses. Life can be rough. That’s why the Bible says there is a time to rejoice, but there is also a time to weep. That’s why the Bible is full of lament. In fact, there’s an entire book of lament in the Bible called Lamentations, where Jeremiah complains to God that he got it all wrong. Jeremiah was grieving the destruction of the temple in Jerusalem, and God let him have his say. Most people think the book of Psalms is all about thanksgiving and praise. But there are 150 psalms in the Bible, and 65 of them are psalms of lament. Every human emotion is expressed in the book of Psalms. If God leads you to lament and you don’t know how to start, just go to Psalms. As you read, underline every verse that you identify with and every verse that encourages you. Say these verses back to God, whether they’re psalms of praise or psalms that cry out to God in pain. Your prayers of praise and lament are worship—and God hears every one of them. “[God] has made my skin and flesh grow old. He has broken my bones. He has besieged and surrounded me with anguish and distress. He has buried me in a dark place, like those long dead . . . And though I cry and shout, he has shut out my prayers.”
Lamentations 3:4-6, 8 (NLT) We all go through times when our lives seem to be falling apart. We lose our job. A relationship falls apart. Someone dies. Our health takes a turn for the worse. In those times, we’re tempted to think God has abandoned us. But he hasn’t. The ancient prophet Jeremiah was in the same boat when he wrote the book of Lamentations. His country, Judah, had endured an economic tailspin and was terrorized by a foreign enemy. He had witnessed incredibly inhumane acts committed against Judah. People were out of work and starving to death. Where did Jeremiah start? He told God how he felt: “[God] has made my skin and flesh grow old. He has broken my bones. He has besieged and surrounded me with anguish and distress. He has buried me in a dark place, like those long dead . . . And though I cry and shout, he has shut out my prayers” (Lamentations 3:4-6, 8 NLT). Does it surprise you that these words are in the Bible? Jeremiah—like some people today—felt God had forgotten him. But Jeremiah didn’t ignore what he was feeling. He didn’t sugarcoat the situation. He told God what was on his heart. In fact, Jeremiah spent five chapters telling God what he thought about the situation. He told God, “This stinks!” Why would God put that kind of passage in the Bible? He wants you to know that he can handle your anger, your gripes, and your grief. Jeremiah spent an entire book of the Bible blowing off steam. If God is big enough to handle Jeremiah’s pain, he’s big enough to handle yours too. If you swallow your emotions, you just hurt yourself. Your stomach will keep score! Instead, unload your emotions on God. When kids are little, sometimes they may throw temper tantrums. Their temper tantrums most likely didn't cause you to love them any less, or make you doubt your decision, or make you feel like less of a parent. They likely reminded you that kids are immature. They don't know what you know. God doesn’t love you any less when you throw a temper tantrum. He doesn’t owe you an explanation. But he is never afraid of what you have to say. So tell him. It’ll be the beginning of healing. “Can a mother forget her nursing child? Can she feel no love for the child she has borne? But even if that were possible, I would not forget you! See, I have written your name on the palms of my hands.”
Isaiah 49:15-16 (NLT) Just like a mother cannot forget her child, God cannot forget you. Have you been abandoned in life by a spouse or a parent? God will never abandon you. Have you been rejected by those you trusted the most? God will never reject you. Have you been left behind by the people who were supposed to walk through life with you? God will never leave you alone. When you go through any of those painful experiences, you will be tempted to think that God has forgotten you. But that’s impossible! You were made to be loved by God. He created you as an object of his love. In fact, did you know God has a tattoo of your name engraved on the palms of his hands? The Bible says in Isaiah 49:15-16, “Can a mother forget her nursing child? Can she feel no love for the child she has borne? But even if that were possible, I would not forget you! See, I have written your name on the palms of my hands” (NLT). Where did he get the tattoo? On the cross. With nail-pierced hands and outstretched arms, he showed you just how much he loves you. He loves you so much it hurts! He loves you so much he’d rather die than live without you. He loves you with an everlasting love. In heaven, no one is going to have any scars except Jesus. His body will have all the scars of the cross. Why? Because he wants to always remember how much he loves you. When you don’t understand what’s going on in your life, you need to remember this: You may not have a solution. You won’t always have the answers. And you won’t always get an explanation. But you do have God’s presence and his love in your life. When life doesn’t make sense, you have to hold on to that promise. |
AuthorTaken from Daily Hope by Rick Warren. Categories
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