“He did not retaliate when he was insulted, nor threaten revenge when he suffered. He left his case in the hands of God, who always judges fairly.”
Peter 2:23 (NLT) If you’ve been hurt by someone, whether it’s physical or emotional, you’ve got a decision to make. You can use your energy to get well or to get even. But you can’t do both. Jesus understood pain and abuse. When he was crucified, he was wounded in every way possible—in his feet, his hands, and his head. Roman soldiers whipped him with 40 lashes. They crushed a crown of thorns onto his skull. And then they nailed him to a cross. Of course, Jesus’ deepest wounds weren’t physical but emotional. He was betrayed, rejected, and humiliated. Yet 1 Peter 2:23 says, “He did not retaliate when he was insulted, nor threaten revenge when he suffered. He left his case in the hands of God, who always judges fairly” (NLT). Jesus could have sent a million angels to fight for him while he was on the cross, but he didn’t. He left the issue to his Father in heaven. He said, “Father, forgive them. They don’t know what they’re doing” (Luke 23:34 GW). He refused to let pain make him bitter. To get through the pain and abuse of this life, you must release those who’ve abused you. When you have resentment in your heart, you can’t get well. For your own sake, you need to let go of your right to get even. Getting even won’t make you feel better. Even if you were able to get even, it wouldn’t take your pain away. Does the person who hurt you deserve your forgiveness? No. But you don’t deserve God’s forgiveness either. You offer forgiveness for your sake, not the other person’s. You can also be assured that God has seen everything that has happened to you. The Bible says in Romans 12:19, “Never take revenge, my friends, but instead let God’s anger do it. For the scripture says, ‘I will take revenge, I will pay back, says the Lord’” (GNT). God saw what happened when you were hurt. And he wept, just as he was doing when his Son was crucified. It’s God’s responsibility to get even—not yours; the person who hurt you won’t get away with it. But when you forgive, you will be set free—you’ll stop suffering unnecessarily for someone else’s mistakes. The Bible says in Hebrews 12:15, “A bitter spirit . . . is not only bad in itself but can also poison the lives of many others” (PHILLIPS). Resentment is a poison pill you don’t need to swallow. You can choose to be as happy as you want to be. So what’s your choice?
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“We know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.”
Romans 8:28 (NLT) Life often brings you matters that are difficult to swallow, like a sickness, a job loss, or the death of a friend or family member. Those pills are bitter going down, and we often choke on them. But you can rest assured that God is up to something good in your life, even if you can’t see it. God is actively working to bring good out of whatever happens in or around you. To hold on to hope in the midst of tough times, you’ll need to grab hold of this truth. The Bible says it this way: “We know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them” (Romans 8:28 NLT). The Bible isn’t saying that every event in your life will be good. You and I both know that’s just not true. But it does say that when you put your whole life together, every piece of it works together for good. It’s like making a cake. You may not like the taste of each ingredient, but when it’s all put together, you can’t resist it. God wants to bake an amazingly tasty cake with your life, and he wants to use even the distasteful and bitter elements to do it. God doesn’t promise that everything will work together like you want it to or that every story will have a happy ending. The reality is that not every business decision will make you a million dollars. Not every couple that gets married will live happily ever after. Not every child will become captain of the football team. Instead, the verse reminds us that we can have absolute confidence that the Master Designer of the universe “causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God.” (Notice that this promise is for “those who love God,” not for people who don’t know God yet.) Hope isn’t the same as optimism. It isn’t the belief that something bad will turn out well. It’s the absolute confidence that every part of your life ultimately will make sense, regardless of how it turns out this side of eternity. From our vantage point, life looks like a mess at times. But God’s view from heaven isn’t the same as ours. You can’t even imagine the good that God has in store for your future. God promises, “I have good plans for you, not plans to hurt you. I will give you hope and a good future” (Jeremiah 29:11 NCV). Your future is in God’s hands—and there’s no better place for it to be. “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”
1 John 1:9 (NIV) God’s standards never change: Premarital sex is unacceptable. It always has been. It always will be. Living together without getting married is unacceptable to God. It always has been. It always will be. Adultery—being unfaithful in your marriage—is unacceptable to God. It always has been. It always will be. Pornography is unacceptable to God. It always has been. It always will be. But if you’ve been guilty of one of those sins, that’s not the end of your story. God gives you a chance to come clean and start over. How do you do that? Repent. Repent means “to change your mind.” You say, “You were right, God. I was wrong. What I did was sin.” You don’t rationalize your sin or excuse it. The most important part is, you do this now. If you’re currently in the middle of an affair, end it today. Receive forgiveness. God is waiting to forgive, cleanse, and restore you. He’ll release you from the shame, regrets, hidden hurts, and pain that come from your sin so you don’t carry them into your next relationship. God wants to wipe the slate clean. The good news is, once he’s forgiven you, you can forgive yourself. Refocus and replace. You make a commitment to live morally pure by God’s standard from this day forward. That means having sex only with the person you’re married to. Request help daily. Commit your life to Christ (if you haven’t already). Ask him to help you manage your mind, because you know that your decisions about sex start with the way you think. Don’t just ask him for help for the next week or the next month. Ask him for help every day—even minute by minute as you fight to stay sexually pure. Your sexual drive can destroy you if you let it. It’s your choice! Choose to repent and receive God’s forgiveness today. God will give you a fresh start and will even bless your future relationship when you follow him in faith. “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
Ephesians 4:31-32 (NIV) Too many of us don’t really understand what forgiveness is. I’m convinced that if more people knew what real forgiveness looked like, they’d be much more willing to forgive instead of holding on to past hurts at an unhealthy level. The Bible clearly calls us to forgive others. Galatians 6:1 says, “Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently” (NIV). So if God expects us to forgive others, what does healthy, biblical forgiveness look like? Here’s a four-part process that we should walk through as we’re dealing with pain brought upon by others. First, recognize no one is perfect. When we hate somebody, we tend to lose our perspective about that person. When we’re filled with resentment and bitterness and hurt, we tend to dehumanize the offender. But we’re all in the same boat. The Bible says, “Not a single person on earth is always good and never sins” (Ecclesiastes 7:20 NLT). We’re all imperfect. Next, relinquish your right to get even. This is the heart of forgiveness. The Bible says, “Never avenge yourselves. Leave that to God, for he has said that he will repay those who deserve it” (Romans 12:19 TLB). You may feel like you have the right to retaliate, but you must commit to not doing so. It may not seem fair, but it’s healthy. And this isn’t a one-time decision but a daily one that may even require moment-by-moment decisions. Then, respond to evil with good. It’s nearly impossible to do this without God’s help. You’ll need the love of Jesus to fill you up. Why? Because God’s love doesn’t keep track of wrongs (see 1 Corinthians 13). Finally, refocus on God’s plan for your life. You stop focusing on the hurt and the person who hurt you. Instead, you refocus on God’s purpose for your life, which is greater than any problem or pain you might be currently facing. As long as you continue to focus on the person who has hurt you, that person controls you. In fact, if you don’t release your offender, you will begin to resemble your offender. Don’t spend another day in your resentment. If you’ve been holding on to pain caused by someone else, go through these four steps and move on to the rest of the life you were created to live! “Do to others as you would have them do to you.”
Luke 6:31 (NIV) One of the greatest tests of your character is how you treat people who are trying to serve you. Whether it’s a waitress, a waiter, a clerk, an employee, a secretary, your children, or your spouse, how you treat those who serve you tells me a great deal about you. An indicator might be when you go to restaurants. How do you interact with the server? If you're rude and demanding in those situations, there's likely a flaw to address. Jesus tells us, “Do to others as you would have them do to you” (Luke 6:31 NIV). That may be the simplest yet most important character test in the Bible. Social psychologist Eric Hoffer once said, “Rudeness is the weak man’s imitation of strength.” It takes no intelligence at all to be rude. The best place to practice this important character trait of respect is at home. More marriages are ruined by rudeness than anything else. It's amazing how many marriages are buried by one little dig after another. Have you noticed that sometimes we’re the most disrespectful to the people we care about the most? Our homes should be safe places to express our emotions and practice forgiveness and grace—but they are too often the place where we think we can get away with the most unkindness. I know people who treat their families in ways they would never treat a stranger. Yet even in our families--especially in our families—we need to be understanding, not demanding, and forgiving, not finding fault. Courtesy is just love in the little things. It’s showing grace, because we understand there are hidden hurts everywhere. It’s showing respect for people by being kind, even in the smallest areas of our lives. “Show proper respect to everyone.”
1 Peter 2:17 (NIV) Respect has become an endangered value. Yet the Bible makes it clear that stable families—and stable societies—are built around respect. The Bible commands us to honor our parents, respect civil authority, and respect church leaders. Wives are called to respect husbands in Ephesians. In the book of 1 Peter, husbands are called to respect wives. Just to make it clear that God leaves no one out, the Bible also says, “Show proper respect to everyone” (1 Peter 2:17 NIV). Everyone, regardless of beliefs or behaviors, is worthy of respect. Why? God made everyone. Psalm 8:5 says, “You made them inferior only to yourself; you crowned them with glory and honor” (GNT). God doesn’t make junk. No one is worthless. People make wrong decisions, but they are still valuable to God. Even the most unlovable person in the world is loved by God. When you show someone respect, you show them their value as God’s creation. Jesus died for everyone. The Bible says, “God paid a ransom to save you . . . he paid for you with the precious lifeblood of Christ” (1 Peter 1:18-19 TLB). You may not place much value in certain people, but God does. In fact, he says every person you meet is worth dying for. Doesn’t that change the way you look at people? It shows you know God. The Bible tells us that God is love. If you know God, then you’ll fill your life with love. The Bible says, “If a person isn’t loving and kind, it shows that he doesn’t know God—for God is love” (1 John 4:8 TLB). Love always treats people with respect. You’ll get back whatever you give out. It’s the law of the harvest. Whatever goes around comes around. If you want to be respected, then treat other people with respect. Galatians 6:7 says, “You will always harvest what you plant” (NLT). By learning to love each other, we become “eager to show respect for one another” (Romans 12:10 GNT). You’ll more easily respect others when you recognize what God has done for them and try to love them more like he does. “Seek first God’s kingdom and what God wants. Then all your other needs will be met as well.”
Matthew 6:33 (NCV) If you want to live a truly balanced life, you can only look at one person in all of history as your model: Jesus. When you put him at the center of your life, your life will be more balanced. Think of your life like a wheel. The center of the wheel is a hub. All of the spokes of your life (which represent your relationships, your family, your career, your goals, and so on) come from that hub. We all build our lives around some sort of hub. The question is, what will be your hub? Will it be your family? Will it be your career? Will it be money? Or will it be Jesus? How do you know what you’re building your life around? Take a look at whatever you think about the most. That’s what is driving you. The center of your life is critical to developing a balanced life. A solid center leads to a solid life. A weak, flimsy center leads to a weak life. When people tell me their lives are coming unglued, it usually means one thing: They have a faulty center. Something other than God has taken priority in their lives. Not only does the hub create stability, but it also controls and influences everything else about your life. Whatever you put at the center of your life will also be your source of power. The power of a wheel always emanates from the center outward—never the other way around. Make Jesus the hub of your life, and he’ll provide the stability, control, and power you need. The Bible says, “Seek first God’s kingdom and what God wants. Then all your other needs will be met as well” (Matthew 6:33 NCV). When you choose to put Jesus at the center, all the other areas of your life—from your family to your career to your goals—will find balance in him. He will direct your life, empower it, and give it stability. “I have also learned why people work so hard to succeed: it is because they envy the things their neighbors have. But it is useless. It is like chasing the wind.”
Ecclesiastes 4:4 (GNT) We can come up with many excuses for overworking. Sometimes we blame it on needing to provide for our family. Other times we insist our work is so important that to slow down would be negligent. But usually, it’s a values problem. We start valuing the wrong things. Specifically, we value the acquisition of stuff above all else. The Bible says, “I have also learned why people work so hard to succeed: it is because they envy the things their neighbors have. But it is useless. It is like chasing the wind” (Ecclesiastes 4:4 GNT). God says we have two options: We can either spend all our time keeping up with the Joneses, or we can forget them and reduce our stress level—but we can’t have both. That’s how this becomes a question of values. Do you want more stuff, or do you want less stress and more time with your family and friends? The choice is yours. Jesus said it like this: “What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul?” (Mark 8:36 NIV). Or, “What good is it to become president of your company but lose your kids or your spouse?” The simple answer? It’s not good at all. Your work and your worth are two different things. Maybe you grew up being told you’re worthless, and you’re out in the workplace trying to prove everyone wrong. In the back of your mind, you’re telling yourself, “I’m going to show them. I’m going to prove them wrong.” You work harder and harder, but no matter how hard you work, it’s never enough. Just about the time you start to relax, you hear a haunting voice telling you, “Keep pedaling. Somebody’s catching up!” You need to get rid of the voice. It’s feeding you a lie. A pastor sat by many bedsides as people died. He's seen many people take their last breath, sometimes at a hospital, sometimes in a home, and sometimes at the scene of an accident. Among all of the people he's watched die in his life, he's never heard anyone say with their dying breath, “I wish I’d spent more time at the office.” Not one. Don’t you think it’s time to adjust your values? Get out of the rat race. “If you become angry, do not let your anger lead you into sin.”
Ephesians 4:26 (GNT) We all get angry from time to time. We may handle it differently, but none of us can escape the emotion entirely. But just because we get angry doesn’t mean we’re sinning. The Bible says, “If you become angry, do not let your anger lead you into sin” (Ephesians 4:26 GNT). Paul tells us in this passage not to let our anger lead us into sin. That means that anger isn’t necessarily sin. The truth is, we can deal with our anger in both appropriate and inappropriate ways. Unfortunately, many of us express our anger in ways that get us further from our goals instead of moving us closer to them. For example, here are three things to avoid when you’re angry: Don’t suppress your anger. Don’t store it up inside. When you suppress anger without expressing it in proper ways, it’s like taking a soft drink bottle and shaking it up. One day it’s going to pop! It’ll impact your body eventually. Doctors tell us a number of physical ailments are often brought on by suppressed anger. Don’t repress anger. When you repress your anger, you simply deny it’s there. Deny your anger often enough, and you’ll be depressed. When I used to do more counseling, I’d hear many people tell me they were depressed, but they were really just angry. They thought that Christians should never get angry, so they bottled it up inside. Denying anger is a sin. It’s called lying. Don’t express your anger in inappropriate ways. We can express anger in a variety of inappropriate ways. We pout, spit sarcasm, manipulate, or do something stupid. None of those approaches get us anywhere near the result we’re looking for. So what should we do with our anger? Confess it. You don’t just admit the anger, but you also admit the cause. You tell God—and whoever you’re angry with—that you’re frustrated or you feel threatened. The more honest you can be in your relationships, the easier it will be to get to the root causes of your anger. Here’s the good news about your anger: You may have grown up in a home where anger was consistently expressed in inappropriate ways. Inappropriate anger is learned, but it can be unlearned too. You don’t have to stay the same. You can start changing how you deal with anger today! “We know the love that God has for us, and we trust that love . . . because God’s perfect love drives out fear.”
1 John 4:16, 18 (NCV) In asking people about why they don’t fully trust God, it's usually one of three things: People are afraid that if they give their lives fully to God, they’ll lose their freedom, they’ll lose their fun, or God will turn them into some kind of religious fanatic. None of that sounds inviting! The bottom line is, people are afraid. We’re afraid to trust God completely. Yet God has an answer for our fear of trusting him. The Bible says, “We know the love that God has for us, and we trust that love . . . because God’s perfect love drives out fear” (1 John 4:16, 18 NCV). God loves you. You were created as an act of his love. Over and over in the Bible, God makes this clear. God thought you up and created you to love you and to let you love him. The greatest expression of God’s love is Jesus. God came to earth in the form of a human being to show us what he is really like. He then showed us how much he loved us by dying on the cross. The cross tells us once and for all that we can fully trust God. We can trust him with our lives because he gave his Son’s life for us. If God is telling the truth in his Word that he loves you, then you know he won’t take away your freedom or your fun or turn you into a fanatic. God isn’t a cosmic killjoy. He’s your heavenly Father. The more you know God, the more you trust him. Why? Because you’ll see all around you—in his Word, in your life, and in the world he created—all the evidence of how much he loves you. And as your love for him grows, your fear will diminish. |
AuthorTaken from Daily Hope by Rick Warren. Categories
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