“When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd.”
Mark 6:34 (NIV) How do you know if you’re looking at life from God’s viewpoint? Think about the way you see other people. This is a great test of your spiritual maturity—better than asking how much of the Bible you know, how often you go to church, or whether you serve, tithe, or pray. Life is all about love and relationships. So if you want to gauge your spiritual maturity, think about how you see other people. Maye consider some pointed questions. How does God see your spouse? Valuable. Acceptable. Lovable. Forgivable. Is that the way you see your spouse? How about the stranger at the grocery store? The person who cut you off in traffic? The beggar on the street? What do you see when you look at other people? Do you see them as irritations or burdens? What about the people you work with? Do you see them as enemies? Competition? Or do you see them the way God sees them? All people matter to God. It doesn’t matter who they are, what they’ve done, or even what they believe. Christ died for them. Jesus loves them. God has a plan for every person, and he wants them to have a relationship with him. The Bible says in Mark 6:34, “When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd” (NIV). That’s the way Jesus sees people. And that’s the way you can grow to see people too. You can learn to have compassion for your own family as well as for your neighbors, your community, your country, and the rest of the world. Let your spiritual vision get stronger as you learn to see people the way Jesus does.
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“Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church.”
Ephesians 4:15 (NLT) Christians often use the truth as a weapon. But the Bible never says God wants you to use the truth as a club. He doesn’t want you to beat people up theologically, politically, or personally. You must use the truth tactfully—in other words, use truth in love. “Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church” (Ephesians 4:15 NLT). Think of somebody that you would like to help make a change. You need to realize people change faster and more easily when the truth is wrapped in love. Without love, truth is always seen as an attack. If you say something offensively, guess what? It’s going to be received defensively. You’re never going to get anywhere! Ephesians 4:29 says, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen” (NIV). If it’s not helpful, don’t say it. If it’s only for your benefit, don’t say it. If you want to just get something off your chest, don’t say that you’re speaking the truth in love. If you want to put somebody down and club somebody with the truth, don’t say that you’re speaking the truth in love. Speak only what is helpful for building people up according to their needs, so that it benefits them. Those are the qualifications of speaking the truth in love. Now, just because you’re ready to share the truth doesn’t mean the other person is ready to hear it. Ask yourself if someone is ready to receive a truth; that’s part of loving them. The Bible says, “Thoughtless words can wound as deeply as any sword, but wisely spoken words can heal” (Proverbs 12:18 GNT). Do you want to heal, or do you want to wound? Do you want to help, or do you want to hurt? When you’re in a conflict, the solution is not deception but tact. You have a choice to either hurt or heal, to either make a point or make an enemy. How do you know when you’re speaking the truth in love? It’s pretty simple: Just ask yourself for whose benefit are saying something. If you’re speaking the truth for someone else’s benefit, then God will honor your words and use them for good. “And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.”
Philippians 1:9-11 (NIV) Paul didn’t just pray for people in his life; he prayed for them with joy! There are probably things in other people’s lives that you’d like to change. You don’t want to change yourself; you want them to change. We always want to change other people. But you can’t! You can, however, pray and let God do his work in other people. Positive praying is more effective than positive thinking. All the positive thinking in the world isn’t going to change your spouse, child, friend, or situation. Positive thinking can change you, but it won’t change somebody else. But positive prayer can make a difference in someone else. What’s the quickest way to change a bad relationship to a good one? Start praying for the other person! It will change you, and it can change the other person too. Paul even told us how to pray for others: “And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God” (Philippians 1:9-11 NIV). From these verses, we can learn to pray for the people in our lives in four ways: Pray that they will grow in love: “And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight.” Pray that they will make wise choices: “So that you may be able to discern what is best.” Pray that they will live with integrity: “And may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ.” Pray that they will become like Jesus: “Filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.” Pray this for yourself and anyone else in your life, and watch how God turns around the relationship that seemed hopeless or needed to be revived. “Every time I think of you, I give thanks to my God.”
Philippians 1:3 (NLT) If you want to have healthy relationships, start with an attitude of gratitude. You will be far happier and enjoy your relationships more if you develop the habit of being grateful for the people in your life. Philippians 1:3 says, “Every time I think of you, I give thanks to my God” (NLT). This simple truth is the foundation of good relationships. When you think of the people in your life, is your first feeling gratitude? Or are you more likely to ask, “What do they need to do for me? What are our problems? What do we have to get done?” Your first thought may not be gratitude. But Paul’s first thought for his friends was one of gratitude, and it is the model we should follow if we want our relationships to last. Here’s the problem: The longer you know someone, the more likely you take that person for granted. With the passage of time, it becomes easier to focus on that person’s faults and the bad times instead of the happy times. That’s why it takes effort on our part to choose to have an attitude of gratitude for the people in our lives. The longer our relationships last, the harder it may be to remember. But we experience an eternal impact on our relationships when we develop the habit of giving thanks to God when we think of our spouses, children, parents, siblings, neighbors, coworkers, and small group members. “We must show love through actions that are sincere, not through empty words.”
1 John 3:18 (GW) This Christmas give the gift of your time. Time is your most precious commodity because your time is your life. You only have a certain amount of it. God has already decided the number of days you are going to live. And you’re not going to get any more. You can always get more money, but you cannot get more time. So, when you give someone your time, you are giving that person a portion of your life that you will never get back. That’s why it’s a priceless gift. If nothing else, 2020 has reminded us that relationships should always take priority in our lives. But the truth is that many relationships are starved for time. People may live in the same home, but they pass each other like ships in the night, with a goodbye kiss here and there. Relationships die when time together dries up. Many things can rob a relationship of the time it needs to thrive. Work can rob a relationship. Activity can rob a relationship. Hobbies can rob a relationship. Even too much church involvement or ministry can rob a relationship. You may wonder, “How can I have more time for those I love?” Start by turning off the TV and setting down your phone! Those two simple changes will help you make time for others a priority. This Christmas slow down and make the time—give your time—for your family and for the other people God brings into your life. God has given you the gift of time so that you can give it away to other people. “Real wisdom, God’s wisdom, begins with a holy life and is characterized by getting along with others. It is gentle and reasonable, overflowing with mercy and blessings, not hot one day and cold the next, not two-faced. You can develop a healthy, robust community that lives right with God and enjoy its results only if you do the hard work of getting along with each other, treating each other with dignity and honor.”
James 3:17-18 (The Message) With so many people at home more during the pandemic, you might notice you’re a little more sensitive than usual. Maybe you’re quick to point out everything that’s wrong in the world or in your home. Maybe you jump on every mistake and error and feel duty-bound to remind people what didn’t work. Maybe you’re just overly picky about everything and determined to keep bringing up the past. This is a stressful season, and it’s understandable that you’ll feel like acting this way at certain times. But if you want to plant seeds of peace in your relationships, then you won’t emphasize other people’s mistakes. You’ll let go of your pride and choose to put someone else’s needs above your own. That’s not easy, even when you’re not under stress! But it is a mark of spiritual maturity when you can let something go for the sake of healthy relationships. “Real wisdom, God’s wisdom . . . is gentle and reasonable, overflowing with mercy and blessings, not hot one day and cold the next, not two-faced” (James 3:17 The Message). Mercy, the Bible says, is a mark of wisdom. Mercy is giving people what they need, not what they deserve. When somebody stumbles, you don’t judge them. You encourage them. Mercy is forgiving and gracious. It’s treating people the way God treats you. Proverbs 17:9 says, “Love forgets mistakes; nagging about them parts the best of friends” (TLB). Clara Barton, who founded the American Red Cross, was reminded by a friend of an especially cruel thing that somebody had done to her years before. Barton acted like she didn’t remember it, and the friend asked, “Don’t you remember?” Her famous reply was, “No, I distinctly remember forgetting it.” What are you choosing to forget out of love and wisdom? Emphasizing mistakes is not helpful. Mercy is what is helpful and loving. “Kind words bring life, but cruel words crush your spirit” (Proverbs 15:4 GNT). The words you say make a difference. Learn to let go of things in the past that are causing friction in your current relationships. Speak life to the people you love. “But the wisdom from above is pure first of all; it is also peaceful, gentle, and friendly; it is full of compassion and produces a harvest of good deeds; it is free from prejudice and hypocrisy.”
James 3:17 (GNT) More than ever, the world needs you to be a peacemaker. In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus said, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God” (Matthew 5:9 NIV). Being a peacemaker takes intentionality and God’s wisdom. And someone who is wise understands that you can’t compromise the truth. When James says real wisdom is “pure first of all,” he’s talking about always telling the truth (James 3:17 GNT). Proverbs 15:26 says, “The Lord . . . delights in pure words” (NLT). If you apply God’s wisdom to your relationships, then you’re going to be truthful. You’re not going to lie to people. You’re not going to cheat them, trick them, mislead them, or take advantage of them. You will, above all else, tell the truth. A wise person uses pure and truthful words in their relationships. Why do you think God mentions purity first in James 3:17? Because all relationships are built on trust, and all trust is built on truth. You can’t have trust without truth. In order to build a solid relationship, you need to have trust. In order to have trust, you need to have truth. You have to tell the truth! God’s wisdom is pure, truthful, and full of integrity. You probably don’t know who Dr. Leonarde Keeler is, but you know what he co-invented: the polygraph. After testing more than 25,000 people on the lie detector, Dr. Keeler concluded that every human being is by nature dishonest. Of course, Christians know this already because we know how sin has corrupted our nature. Like everyone else on the planet, you are naturally dishonest. But God doesn’t want you to stay that way. “God wants us to grow up, to know the whole truth and tell it in love” (Ephesians 4:15 The Message). Read that again: God wants you to know the truth and then tell the truth in love. When you practice lovingly speaking the truth, you will be at peace in your relationships and model peace for the world. “Anger gives a foothold to the devil.”
Ephesians 4:27 (NLT) In every quarrel, an unseen spiritual war is going on behind the scenes. At the surface, a quarrel may seem minor. You may think you’re arguing about who didn’t take out the garbage or who left their clothes on the floor. But at a deeper level, Satan is trying to create chaos, distractions, and destruction in your relationships. He is behind the scenes, taking every opportunity to produce conflict in your life. You won’t have peace in your life if you think you’re fighting only with another person. You are fighting against spiritual forces. Satan is not seen, but he is real. He is the source behind all conflict. Ephesians 4:27 says, “Anger gives a foothold to the devil” (NLT). Anger gives Satan something to hold on to in your life. Any time you get angry and use hurtful words, you open the door for Satan to get a foothold in your emotions and create chaos. You can’t have healthy relationships if you have uncontrolled and chaotic emotions. When you become angry, Satan is at the ready with an arsenal of hurtful words that he plants in your mind. He stokes your pride. He makes you think you must be right or have the last word. He keeps you from seeing or caring about the hurt you’re causing. How do you fight against that kind of power? You’ve got to resist the devil. When you realize you’re about to get into a quarrel with someone, be aware that Satan has a plan to upset you. He wants you to be stressed, angry, and hurt. Satan will use any negative emotion in your life to destroy your peace. But you don’t have to let him do that! “We don’t want to unwittingly give Satan an opening for yet more mischief—we’re not oblivious to his sly ways!” (2 Corinthians 2:11 The Message). If you don’t know how Satan schemes, then you will be outwitted time and time again. But now you know that—when you get angry and use hurtful words—you’re giving Satan a foothold in your life and your relationships. So you’ll be able to stop the quarrel before it starts. The next time you’re tempted to respond in anger, make the choice to speak life and love instead. “You don't have what you want because you don't ask God for it.”
James 4:2 (NLT) One of the biggest causes of quarreling in your family, with your friends, or at your work is that you expect people to fill needs in your life that only God can fulfill. This is often most obvious in marriage, but it’s true in every relationship. You find people you can trust and who know you well. So you start looking to them to keep you emotionally and spiritually fulfilled. It’s common for people to get married and think their spouse should and will meet all their needs. After all, you complete each other, right? But that’s just unrealistic, unfair, and only setting you up for massive frustration? Your spouse is not God. Your best friend is not God. Your co-workers are not God. None of them know you like God does. None of them can provide for you like he can. They are broken human beings, just like you! It’s time to change your expectations so your frustration doesn’t lead to more conflict and quarreling in your relationships. So, what should you do instead of looking to someone else to fulfill every emotional, spiritual, and physical need you have? You should pray about it. “You don’t have what you want because you don’t ask God for it” (James 4:2 NLT). When you expect other people to meet your needs instead of God, it leads to frustration. And frustration leads to quarreling. If you’re not praying and asking God to provide for your needs, then you’re going to spend more time quarreling. If you’re not praying about it, you’re fighting over it. You don’t have because you haven’t asked God for it! If you have a need, don’t look first to your spouse or your friend to fill it. Go to God first. He already knows what you need, and he’s ready to give it to you. You just have to ask. “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?”
Matthew 7:3 (NIV) Before you judge someone else, remember that you have blind spots in your own life. Blind spots are attitudes or weaknesses in your life that you cannot see or refuse to see, even though they cause conflict with others. For instance, you may be constantly argumentative and not realize you keep turning simple conversations into debates. Jesus says that when you feel the urge to judge someone because of their blind spots, think of it as an opportunity to uncover your own and to address them. He talked about this in the Sermon on the Mount: “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye” (Matthew 7:3-5 NIV). He’s saying, “How dare you? Why are you so concerned about the sin in someone’s else’s life when you haven’t dealt with the even greater sin in your own life? Take care of your blind spots so that you will be able to see clearly to help others.” Have you noticed that you tend to judge in others what you dislike in yourself? If you’re lazy and you know it—and you don’t like that about yourself—then you tend to see it more in others and judge them. If you’re prideful or greedy, you tend to spot that quickly in other people. Whatever you tend to struggle with, you’ll notice in others more easily. The Bible says in 1 Corinthians 11:31, “If we judged ourselves in the right way, God would not judge us” (NCV). Think about what that verse is saying: If we would seriously examine our lives and self-evaluate our own weaknesses, faults, and failures, then God wouldn’t have to judge us. God is for you, not against you. He already knows your blind spots, and he wants to help you address them so that you can mature in your faith. |
AuthorTaken from Daily Hope by Rick Warren. Categories
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